Once again, there he stood in front of me. His arms outstretched like a messiah, his smile like that of a father. Through all the pain that had begun to reside within me, all I could do was stand in a passive trance. When pain leads to apathy, it’s hard to tell which is worse.
His words may as well have been spoken to the wind. I thought about what it was that I wanted, and in a moment of clarity I understood that I didn’t know. After being conditioned as such for so long, it is impossible to accept feeling content. I’m tired of wasting away. Maybe I didn’t know what I wanted anymore, but I knew what I didn’t want. Or what I didn’t want to be.